Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm sobbing to NWA
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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