you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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