I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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