The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize