dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Less talking, more tequila
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
