Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
