I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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