I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
