Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
