Will you blow on my dice?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
ttyl tear gas
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
