You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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