IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
