Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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