it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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