dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
