i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
