Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
