I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
