He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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