just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He better not be in your backpack
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
