My brain says no but my pants say off.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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