Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
