we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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