It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
