Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
