What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
