Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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