Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
