woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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