idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
