Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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