Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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