woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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