My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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