I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
