we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
