I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The air was thick with penises
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
