let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
