he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
