There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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