"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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