He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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