hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
