it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
