she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
