I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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