We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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