some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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