I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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