we have officially mastered the walk of shame
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
