he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
