don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
