I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
