WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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