I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
