I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
