Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Are we still banned from the library?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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