oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
pray to the hookup gods
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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