Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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