What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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