I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
