Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I can tuck mytits in my pants
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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