My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
