where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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