we have pet lesbian snakes
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
