it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
