I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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