I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
