I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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