did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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