We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
