This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
