does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
