maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
