So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
