It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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