so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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