ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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