Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
