so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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